your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
