I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
