you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
