chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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