The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
