if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
