he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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