Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
