My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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