So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
