New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
