Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
