Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
