HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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