we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
