Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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