____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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