Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
