nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
