I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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