i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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