There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
