you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
