She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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