I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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