Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How many fucks given?
0.12846
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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