And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
