: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Boobs are out for the taking
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
