I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
