oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
