rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
