Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
