You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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