Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
