He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
