Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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