would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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