some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
