sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
