He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
