Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
