Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
