It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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