How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
