ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
