One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
