There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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