Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
