i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
