The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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