I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize