her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
