The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize