weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
