No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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