there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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