i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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