My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
