We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
