I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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