what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
