NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
