sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
