Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
