I wanna bring you to show and tell
You're my little dorito
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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