I cockslap morals
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
