what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
