I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
