Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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