I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
