dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
