I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
