with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
