Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
