He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
