its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
